When you’re caring for an aging loved one, it’s easy to get caught up in the self-defeating inner dialogue that’s tied to feelings of guilt.
I am not present enough.
I am too quick to get angry.
I am not doing a good job.
I am not meeting their needs.
I am not making them happy.
I am failing my family.
I am a bad person for not wanting this responsibility.
I don’t have the strength to do it all.
I am allowing my work to slip.
I am sacrificing my relationships with others.
Whatever your personal words of inadequacy may be, they can wreak havoc on your ability to care for the senior in your life and, more importantly, maintain your own mental health. And that simply doesn’t do anyone any good.
Understand, first and foremost, that these feelings are absolutely natural and extremely common. You are not alone, and you don’t have to continue beating yourself up over it. Senior caregiver guilt can certainly feel overwhelming, but there are ways you can cope with it and learn to let go of the emotional pain.
Physical and Mental Indicators of Caregiver Guilt
Maybe you’re highly aware of the guilt, or perhaps you don’t even realize it’s having such a negative effect on your life. Whatever the case may be, it’s important to tune into your feelings and recognize how the guilt associated with caring for an elderly parent or loved one is manifesting in your mind and body.
Some of the most common indicators include:
If you find yourself experiencing one or more of these symptoms on a regular basis, caregiver guilt may be eating away at your physical and mental health. Awareness is just the first step. There’s more you can do to begin dealing with this reality and develop a healthier path forward.
Helpful Coping Mechanisms for Senior Caregiver Guilt
Some of the most effective approaches to overcoming the guilt that stems from caring for a sick or aging senior involves focusing on yourself. For many caregivers, putting their own needs first is a challenging task, but it’s essential to prioritize your own physical and mental health so that you can be the most effective caregiver for your loved one.
According to the Mayo Clinic, you can work on coping with caregiver guilt by addressing some of the following:
Remember that you still deserve to enjoy life, laugh and have fun, so appreciate your own happiness when you're gifted with moments of joy.
Letting Go of Guilt with Senior Living Options
Again, it’s completely natural for you to feel guilty at times as you take on the significant challenges of a senior caregiving role. But in addition to the self-care that’s so important for coping, you also have other outlets to help you and your loved one. There’s no need to run yourself down trying to do everything.
Consider looking into some of the following options for senior living and support as you navigate the best decisions for you and the senior in your life.
All of these various options for care and support have different advantages. Carefully consider the needs of the senior in your life as well as those of you and your family. And remember to stay out of the guilt zone by practicing self-care and leveraging the coping tips provided here.
For even more information and insight on how to thrive as a caregiver, download your free copy of The Essential Caregiver's Guide.